The Power of Love
There was a time in my life when I thought the most powerful force on the earth was hate.
In my early years, I witnessed firsthand, the destruction this force can cause in the lives, hearts and minds of individuals. During my teenage years, I can personally say, it was the fuel that drove me in everything I did. I was hate personified. Why? Because hurt & trauma, left unresolved, can manifest into anger, bitterness and ultimately….hate. The equation was simple: I hated deeply because I was hurt deeply. This holds true for so many of us who are holding on to past pains.
Unfortunately, I was sexually abused as a child…and the pain and damage of that carried right through into my young adult life. I was a shell of a human being…no emotion, no connection, no innocence, no joy…nothing. I felt nothing for the most part, but when I did, it was pure hatred. The journey from a hurt child to that angry, hate filled teen until now…has been nothing short of a miracle.
I am now a compassionate Mother, Mentor & Leader, overflowing with purpose and serving the Kingdom of God as well as my Community.
One of my life’s quotes that I say constantly whenever I get an opportunity to speak to Women & Youth is “I don’t look like what I’ve been through”.
Everywhere I go to minister or just share, I’m asked the same question over and over: “How did You get to this point?”
I would love to just wrap it up in a simple bow and tell you that it was therapy…period…but it wasn’t at all. Emotional healing takes a tremendous amount of work. The very first step for me, the most transformative of all, was being completely transformed by the love of God! I stopped fighting and resisting His love and totally surrendered to Him. I allowed Him to remove the layers of anger & hatred, one by one until my hardened heart became soft again.
It was only once my heart was open that I was able to begin the deep work of forgiving…that’s what the power of God’s love can do.
I can now say that my heart is overflowing with love and compassion for not only those around me, but for those who have hurt me in the past on any level. God’s love broke down every barricade in my heart, which allowed me the ability to forgive and release all of my past hurts. Once I truly ‘let it go’, the most unexpected thing happened…I felt God’s love for my abuser. I no longer saw them as a monster but as a broken soul that God loves who is struggling with their own hurts & deep pains. I can’t explain the overwhelming feeling of freedom that comes from this next sentence: I have not only forgiven my abuser but I love them with the love of God and I pray that they too will find healing from their deep wounds.
One of the truest statements is that hurt people, hurt people. I am living proof that loved people, can love people…even when it’s difficult.